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Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Some of my Self-Forgiveness on past experiences I'm in the proess of walking backwards and unraveling:

Some of my SF on past experiences I'm in the proess of walking backwards and unraveling:

forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become ‘infatuated’ with a male, in the belief that ‘getting him to want me’ will make me feel wanted or desired.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that feeling wanted or desired will fill a void within me that I myself have created through the separation of myself.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have separated myself in so many ways that I don’t even know who I am anymore.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to lose myself within the systems of my mind.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I can be lost, when I am in fact here all along.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am whole, and I am here.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think, believe or perceive that to want or desire the opposite sex is normal, or is to be normal.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I felt want and desire for the opposite sex when I really wanted to feel wanted and desired myself, and felt nothing for them.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate the opposite sex in order to appease my need to feel wanted and desired.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to want and desire myself, or to want and desire to share myself with another as an equal, within self-honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sharing myself as an equal, within self-honesty.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear not being worth equality with others as life.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to value myself as ‘good enough’ for life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own power.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my impact on others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit and suppress myself due to my fear of my impact on others.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give myself sexually to men in order to use them and allowing them to use me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use my sexuality to abuse myself and others because I felt I was not worth anything more than something to fuck because I had separated myself to the extent of having the perception of nothing of ‘who I am’ left to value.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to view myself as only good for a fuck.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I deserved to be hurt because I’m only good for a fuck.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I deserved to be hurt, or somehow asked for it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear sticking up for myself after I was hurt.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing abusive behavior to be inflicted upon myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing another to abuse me physically and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have abused him through manipulation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to manipulate and scripted my own abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to belittle myself, making myself less than because I felt I deserved to be abused.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel guilty for having scripted my own abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel self-disgust for having scripted my own abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself for what I allowed to happen unto me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go silent in the face of abuse.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go silent in the face of abuse because I gave someone power over me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go silent in the face of abuse because I gave someone power over me because I did not believe I had any power over myself.

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